Summer Morning Self-Indulgence

A thunderstorm brews outside as I write...what a perfect way to spend a summer morning.  I will miss these moments of self-centered indulgence when the school year begins.  I have earned it.  I was outside at 6:45 AM weeding the flower garden, thinning the ridiculously overgrown orange and yellow annuals I planted two months ago.  Who knew they would turn into bushes that dward the little red flowers I planted.  (And no, I do not know their names - I threw away the Lowe's tags already, darn it)

These quiet moments of unadulterated writing pleasure, however, soon will be replaced by opportunities to contribute to the world in a more far reaching way than a few lines written for a blog entitled "Professor M...".  Students will pour into the halls of our middle school dreading or anticipating another school year, and this, my blog friends, is when my opportunity to impact yet another future generation in some small way begins.

On August 11th, my former seventh graders will either hug me or ignore me (we are now eighth graders, Mrs. Mort!).  Some of my new seventh graders will come up and greet me immediately as they forged connections with me last year.  Others will hang back willing to wait for formal classroom introductions.  The new sixth graders will have a deer in the headlight look as they try repeatedly to unlock their lockers (0, left and past 5 and then land on 5, right to 32).  Some with tears will look and me and break my heart.  I will ask if they need help, and that look of relief and appreciation will flood me with love.  Those are the sixth graders with whom I will forge connections with a year early.

The students will enter my class, and they will wonder the following:  Am I in the right room? Who is this lady? What does she teach? Is she nice?  Strict?  Will we have fun in here?  Does she give lots of homework?  What can I get away with in here?  Will she teach me anything of value and do it in an interesting way?  Will she let me use the bathroom whenever I want to?  Will she yell?  What does she already know about me?  Will she base her opinion of me on my older brothers or sisters?  Will she help me when I have a problem?

I am sure many other questions will fill their minds, but these are the ones I still remember asking the first day of school in the seventh grade many years ago.  While students have become more sophisticated than in my day, they still seem to wonder the same things that I used to.

This is the day where some students will decide they like me, some will decide they don't, and still others will withhold judgment until a relationship opportunity presents itself.  If I connect, they will like me.  If I miss the opportunity, they won't feel valued and will either dismiss me or resent me.  If I am to help these kids appreciate all that reading and writing has to offer, the power it gives us to problem solve, to visit other places, the power to communicate, it is crucial that I collect connections with fervor.  The way to do that?  Listen, listen, pay attention, genuinely care about what they care about, and listen.  Then, and only then, will the child feel you are worthy of his or her respect.  What an honor and privelege it is when they decide you are worthy.  It humbles me every time. 

So as my very self-absorbed summer draws to a close, I feel refreshed, reenergized, and ready for a year or giving everything I am to others with the hope I will remember that I must take care of myself in order to give to anyone and will undoubtedly ignore myself several times.  When I feel too exhausted to do anything else and think I can't continue at the pace I am going, a single connection with a new child will recharge every cell in my body and I will continue on, knowing I made a contribution to the world.

Changing Lives on Facebook and in the Walmart Frozen Food Section

It is so exciting to hear from my students as the summer progresses (ok, wraps up - I wasn't quite ready to admit that yet).  They are actually asking me where they can submit their writing for possible publication.  This is somewhat laughable to me that these kids have so much faith in me as their writing "connection" as I am one of the few from my writing cliques who remains unpaid for their work -- no, I am not bitter or jealous or green -- ok...maybe a little.  But the faith they have in me to help them get published is quite humbling to me.

At any rate, one of my students asked me to help her find outlets for her creativity on facebook.  Who knew that such a social networking could actually lead my students into the world of writing real pieces?  She is a very intelligent young lady who rocks to her own rhythm, something necessary for good writing, in my opinion.  I am always looking for that kid who really doesn't care how others take them - a rare commodity in the 7th grade, let me tell 'ya!  I sent her the link to Creative Communications site where she can send in work for possible publication in their upcoming poetry or essay anthologies.  I have had about four students published in the past.  This site takes everything from above average to stupendous writing.  The standards aren't so high that only future Steinbeck's will be published, so it's a great site for students first starting out.

Another student stopped me in the frozen foods section at Walmart yesterday as I was filling my cart with 88 cent entrees.  He said to me, "You remember that essay I wrote last year?"  I nodded my head and expected yet another berating from him because I didn't score it well at the Academic Bowl.  Even though the writers and scorers are supposed to be anonymous during such competitions, a year of working together pretty much made that impossible.  I recognized the his voice immediately,  and he recognized my comments - apparently my comments have voice, too. 

Anyway, he didn't give me grief about how I scored it this time.  I guess his ego had recovered.  Instead, he asked if I had the address for Teen Ink, a great outlet for teenage writing - writing so good that it dwarfs what little writing talent I possess.  These kids will blow you away.  If you have never read this magazine, I recommend it wholeheartedly.  It restores your faith in the next generation.  I told him I would send him those sites on facebook.  He and I chitchatted a few more minutes as we created a minor traffic jam in the aisle and I began to notice the elderly revving their carts up to run us down, and then we went our separate ways.

Teaching is the best possible job ever!  The ability to influence students is very powerful, and I don't take the responsibility lightly.  These kids believe in themselves as writers, and I do, too.  If and when they are published, it will only further validate what they already know - their words have power and influence on the world around.  I can think of no better way to spend my workdays than helping students recognize the voice they have inside and the importance of their thoughts and ideas!

Catnap Fever

Cats have a way of making anybody want to nap.  Look at these two hams, for instance.  How in the world could you pass Elvis and Trish here without wanting to snuggle up and enjoy all that Mr. Sandman has to offer.  Because you feed and water them, they provide the perfect excuse for frequent napping. "Oh, I saw Elvis napping, and he forced me to lie down and nap, too" -  as if he has some sort of hypnotic power emanating from his limp, comatose body.  After looking at a cat as it sleepily dangles its head upside down off the couch or place his or her forehead facedown on the fireplace mantle, who could refute such clear logic?

I think what amazes me most about cats is their ability to sleep just about anywhere and make it look like the world's most comfortable spot ever.  Look at my cat Trish, for example.  She makes the gravel drive out front look like it is as soft as goose down pillows!  I have been tempted to see if the gravel is as comfortable as she makes it out to be, but as soon as a pebble sticks me in the knee, I decide she can have the gravel....I will stick with my Select Comfort set at 55.

Cats have the uncanny ability to drop and sleep whenever the urge strikes them, as if they suffer from narcolepsy and have absolutely no choice in the matter.  Let's be grateful they don't drive cars.  We would all have to fear for our lives because Tom or Tabby simply couldn't keep his or her eyes open another second.  I can see the headlines now:  Fiat Driving Feline Flips Car on the Freeway. 

There would undoubtedly be angry citizens beating down the doors of City Halls across the country demanding that cats be refused driver's licences.  Signs would accompany the protestors saying things like "Pet Tags, not Car Tags" or "Flea the Feline!"  Angry drivers aim for cats out for an evening stroll, even if they used the crosswalk.  When arrested, the offenders would simply say, "I fell asleep; I needed a catnap.  The cat made the crosswalk look so comfortable."

Well, all this typing has made me tired, especially because Trish is napping on my desk calendar right now, and making it look quite comfortable, I might add.  I think I will go take a nap!

Simple Serenity

Today is an amazing day.  Not because anything extraordinary has occurred, but probably because the pleasures today has offered are so beautifully simplistic, so basic, and that makes them all the more powerful.  This sunflower picture greeted me as I opened my e-mail today, so amazing I simply have to share it with any blog wanderers out there.  To see a field of sunflowers following the sun like a compass points out an intended path is astounding yet such a simple way to cause the heart to flutter just a bit.

I spent the morning in prayer as the pastor today ministered to those in need.  At our church the person comes to the front, shares his or her need with the pastor.  He then anoints the person's forehead with oil as he begins to pray.  As this happens, the elders in the church lay their hands on the person in need and the congregation stretches their hands forward.  I used to be so uncomfortable when this was done...that the entire congregatoin had blown a fuse right then and there.  But now?  Now, I see this routine as a way to bond with others in the church, a way to allow God to move through the congregation - not any voodoo weird stuff - but the positive energy or feelings.  I think this is what allows God a direct path to this individual.  I always pray "May your will be done" as God may not do what we expect. But my spiritual "jump off the cliff and let God catch me" attitude know that God's way will yield surprising results IF we do it his way.

Yes, simple.  I like that.  I feel safe, secure, at peace.  No major up, no major down....I am, in the words of Nacie Atwell, "In the Middle".  I taught the students at Sunday school today, Our number went from two students to five.  The kids were receptive and oh so enjoyable. The class went smoothly, calmly, successfuly.

I came home.  Simple.

I worked on the yard.  Simple.

Now I am going to keep a nap.  Simple.  What a perfect Sunday!

Ol' Professor M. had a farm...Eee-iiiiii-eee-iiiii-ohhhh

The chickens from next door have invaded my yard once again.  As I sit here blogging, I see the adolescent chicks running through my garden, waddling around my apple trees, and escaping their mom's henpecking.  Teenage chickens look really strange, awkward, as if they don't really know what kind of bird they are going to become eventually.   They don't yet have clear chicken thighs, and their breast don't stick out like they do when they are older.  They run in any direction, then run back tripping over each other as they free range on my grass. 

My cats don't even do anything about it.  If I weren't so vigilant, I would be chasing fowl from my front room.  If any ever make it into the house, they may walk right into a stew pot, not that my four cats would even notice...at least not until they could smell chicken.


It is hard to believe how many have hatched.  It seems like there is a new batch of them every couple of weeks.  I don't really know what happens to them as I don't see many adult chickens.  I am pretty sure they become the evening meal at my next door neighbor's house.  I wonder how he catches them?

Since the chickens roam the neighborhood eating all the freshly laid grass seed, ripe tomatoes,  and whatever else chicks eat, don't you think the next door neighbor ought to have a block party barbeque where he serves the main course?  Seeing as we have all contributed to his protein intake since he first bought the single rooster and his hen, I do!  I'll bring the chips!

Stop B(itching)

I have spent a day and half alternating between scratching the ever-loving heck out of my neck and arm joints, whatever they are called - sorry, don't know the proper term for that body zone,  and I really wish I wasn't itching enough to have to think about it.  I have bought every anti-itching cream on the market, have applied ice to calm the itch down, and it seems like it only intensifies.  I have virtually OD'd on Benedryl and, as a result, slept pretty soundly for most of the day thanks to the little pink caplets.  After a ridiculous amount of prayer, the answer came to me.  DO something about it.  Well, duh!  I rescheduled an appointment with an allergist I had been referred to last year when this same type of itching occurred.

This is about the third or fourth time this insane itching has occurred over the last year.  My general practice doctor thoght it was contact dermatitis last year and shot me up with steroids.  Then, when it didn't get better in a couple of weeks, I returned to Doc, and he shot me up with more steroids.  When I complained it wasn't better the third time, Doc (aka Drug Dealer at this point)  pulled out the big guns and shot me up with yet more steroids (I should look like Popeye now), prescribed steroidal cream, and recommended an allergist.  The third round of steroids did the trick and I ended up cancelling the allergist appointment.  Just brilliant.  Now I sit here once again, welted and waiting for relief.

Well, here we are, the middle of July, and I again look like a victim in the burn unit!  Splotches of red welts cover my arms and neck.  The itch never goes away and reminds me of that movie Bugs where Ashley Judd played one messed up girl who got involved with a loonie druggie.  They ended up tin foiling every part of their hotel room to keep the aliens or bugs or whatever from picking up on their conversations.  While I haven't yet resorted to that level of paranoia, I can see how uncontrollable itching could drive me to a new level of crazy. 

I did choose to cruise the Internet in search of diagnosis, remedies, and such.  What did people ever do when they wanted to figure out what was wrong with them before the Internet?  I think I have narrowed this down to eczema.  All the pictures on the Internet of exzema look just like mine and exzema is occurs in these two places quite often.  What a name - exzema.  Sounds flaky, doesn't it?  Now that I have scratched so much, these red patches are leathery and very tender to the touch, so it is just a matter of time be for they scab up and flake off, so I guess the name is appropriate.  I looked at the pictures and, if this is exzema, it's a mild case.  I wigged out when I saw how  bad it can get.  That spurred me into immediate action.

I called the allergist this morning.  I have an appointment next Monday at 9:30 in the morning, but here is the kicker.  I can't take any anti-histimines until that appointment!  Yikes!  How will I ever stay sane?  So folks, if you are of the praying kind, PLEASE say a prayer for me that I survive this week.  If you're not the praying kind, please say a prayer anyway...I can use all the help from everyone I can get.  Well, I am off to try to concentrate on anything other than itching and have a hunch that sleeping may be my only excape from this madness...well, I haven't itched that much writing this blog, so maybe more entries are near at hand.  Whatever happens, I will try to stop b(itching)!

First Gear to Fifth at Warp Speed

Well, the house sparkles once again as I enjoy my last couple of weeks of irresponsibility.  This morning, I was a whirlwind of productivity scrubbing, mopping, washing, drying, vacuuming, blah, blah, blah.  Today, I will soon head out to the school for yet more interviews.

Yesterday, I was so utterly irresponsible that I got out of bed only to let my cats in and out and to snack...well, I did work out in the afternoon and take a shower.  After reading several lines in the Bible about laziness and what a bad trait it is, I felt compelled to do something productive.  But I didn't do much.  Instead I justified the day as a mental recharge day in anticipation of the upcoming school year.  I apparently had no trouble convincing myself of this.

I enjoyed the day by watching silliness on TV (Real Housewives of New York marathon) and reading a Margaret Atwood novel called Alias Grace.  The Housewives was my sin; the novel was my redemption, for it's fabulously written and requires diligence on the part of the reader as Atwood frequently uses the "stream of consciousness" techniques so diabolically created by southern American writer William Faulkner.  The thoughts, actions, and dialogue of characters are not separated out as we are taught to do from 6th grade on.  Instead, the writing mimics the endless flow of ideas that pass through the mind - the uncensored version of your brain, if you will.  The hard part about watching "Houswives" and reading the novel in succession is that your brain must jump from 1st gear into 5th at record speed if you are going to retain any understanding of the novel... kind of like talking to 1st graders and then shifting to adult conversation.

That reminds me of a customer I used to wait on when I worked the 3 - 9 shift at Coco's restaurant in Phoenix.  The lady was a 1st grade teacher.  She never spoke to me like an adult.  She cooed her order to me, patted my hand like I was six, and sat there grading her students' work, usually a traced alphabet letter, or maybe on a really challenging day, a whole word beneath a picture.  I wish the work I grade now was as simple as hers was, but then again, I could never put up with first graders.  I would rather run around the room with my hair on fire doing a Michael Jacson/Pepsi commercial imitation!

Anyway, back to the Housewives of New York.  That marathon took me through much of the series in one fell swoop.  I like to watch idiot TV in large doses as it gives me a lot of potential writing material.  Take, for instance, the cast of characters for this show.  All are wealthy, some married their money, other worked for it, and some seem to have inherited the cash.  The women always clash, but frequently have some redeeming qualities.    Let me share my perspective regarding some of the major "players":

Jill  Jill appears to be the Queen of Connections.  She is always introducing well-to-do's of New York with other well-to-do's.  She is all about "stuff" - jewelry, homes, clothes.  While that can be really annoying, I appreciate that she can let go of grudges fairly easily.  Her sister is very much an academic who has a radio show, and there seemed to be a few moments in the show where I sense a bit of insecurity on Jill's part. 

Alex Alex comes off as a codependent social climber to me.  Sorry, but she is always concerned about getting her kids into the "best" schools, connecting with New York's finest, and getting her picture in the Society page of the paper.  Her kids are holy terrors in my opinion, and her husband Simon seems much more worried about impressing people and coordinating his wardrobe than he does about being real.  These two rarely do anything apart, but it does seem to work for them.  But, his attention to his attire and wanting to go everywhere his wife does leads one to believe he is pretty gay - at least metrosexual, which to me, is a codeword for gay. 

Ramona  Ramona is self-made.  Mommy drilled it into her head to always make her own money and never be dependent on a man as Mommy had stayed in an unhappy marriage because of the bucks.  As a result, Ramona often takes her independent streak to a whole new level.  For example, during a dinner party for the "girls", Ramona verbally attacked Simon for showing up with his codependent wife and abruptly left the scene because Alex and Simon's codependence offended her sensibilities.

Countess  The Countess, recently divorced, seems to come from old money.  I figure this to be the case because she never allows the "help" to call her by her first name, unlike those with new money.  She comes off as the most "genuine" of the bunch to me.  She is rich, has always been rich, and doesn't apologize for it.  She helps others, and she adheres to the "old money" rules.

Bethenny  Bethenny is a famous chef, an overachiever who takes on way more than she can handle due to insecurities from a financially inconsistent childhood.  She spent the whole series battling a series of feeling: I want to be a very successful businesswoman, I want to be married, sort of - but if you get too close, I will run away, and my clock is ticking - I want a baby!  What a conundrum - no wonder she regularly visits a shrink!

There are other characters, but these ones stood out for me.  Not that this show is deep in any way, but  the showed me all people are both flawed and virtuous.  Take the best, and try to leave the rest.  These people didn't hold grudges that I most certainly would have, and that really stood out to me.  Maybe it was because I was reading Atwood during the commercials and my brain felt obligated to find some real meaning from this inane B.S. I was subjecting myself to, but that message really resonated throughout the marathon with me.

So this concludes my attempt at stream of consciousness writing.  Mine is far too organized to be true stream of consciousness, although it does traipse along the fringe of unintelligible thought.  Thanks to Jules for inspiring me to blog today as I would have left all these thoughts to their own devices had I not spilled them out here.  Now, maybe I can concentrate on the upcoming interviews tonight!

Today I Went on a Free Association Vacation

A Wordle Creation by Vickie Moriarity

I have spent my morning brainstorming ways to incorporate the theme of "Hero" into my classroom decor this year.  I realize you may be thinking "What a dumb way to spend your morning!  Couldn't you be a little more productive?"  Yes, I guess I could be, but this is some of the fun that teaching provides...ways to waste a perfectly good morning contemplating the impending school year. 

You see, this type of free association allows me to cruise the web for teaching tidbits relevant to the theme (or not) that I would never even consider during the school year as my entire goal some weaks is to keep my head above proverbial water comprised mainly of paper grading, meeting attending, parent phone calling and e-mailing, and student counseling regarding all facets of behavior and/or life situations that have either been thrust upon them or in which they willingly immerse themselves.  This is a time when I don't have to worry about a list of neverending priorities that all scream out for immediate attention.  This is time when I can dream big about the possibilities of the upcoming school year, where I don't have to affix an allotted time frame into my imagined lessons - THESE lessons can go as far as my imagined ideal students will take them.  Of course, I know I will have to land on earth again soon, but it sure nice to spend a ton of time on the tiniest of details. From this mental field trips,  successful ideas have been born in the past.  It is days like today that inspire me to work harder for the students that will soon be in my care.

Today's excursion to the Miriam-Webster Dictionary Site for a working definition of the word "hero".  That visit netted me four working definitions for "hero":
1.  A mythological or legendary figure.  Yes, an immediate connection for the reading teaching in me!  Mythology is filled with heroes like Hercules, Odysseus, Jason who searched for the Golden Fleece.  This also ties into the core content my students will be tested on in May.  Oh joy!
2.  An illustrious warrior:  Well, there are only about a million of these in history, and what a great way to tie into current events with our current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Maybe this could lead to a service project that honors our modern day heroes!  Our traditional Veteran's Day program will have so much meaning for the students with the them of hero taught throughout the year!
3.  A man admired for his achievements and noble qualities:  Oh my gosh, think of all the leaders in history who have demonstrated noble qualities:  Jesus, Ghandi, Elenor Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Jr., President Kennedy and on and on.  Just about every single profession has its heroes, and this will allow us to hone in on heroic qualities.  For example, many kids last year viewed Chuck Norris as a bit of a hero, and I questioned the qualities on which they based this.  Of course, good ol' Chuck "portrays" heroes in his movies, but does that really make him a hero?  Not unless he does certain things in real life. 

That got me searching the web, and I found an article written by Chuck Norris entitled "The Heroes of America's Academic Halls".  Wow! Chuck just became my new hero because it's an extremely well written article that urges Americans to reinstill the Christian values that helped build this nation.  What a lucky find!  Kids will read this article because they are enamoured with Chuck, the actor.  This will again cause them to think about heroes more in depth.

4.  The principal male character in a literary or dramatic work:  This definition has several lessons I could teach.  First of all the feminine form of hero is heroine - no, not the drug; that has no "e" at the end.  This could be an important lesson if they ever need to write about a heroic woman or the drug.   The ability to locate the hero or heroine in a piece of literature is of course important.  But then I can scaffold the term "protagonist" - a literary term they need to know, and its antithesis - the "antagonist".  The chances those new terms will stick will be greater because they have a firm understanding of what a hero is.  I can also teach students about the anti-hero like Mel Gibson's creation "Mad Max" and the tragic hero which Shakespeare used repeatedly (just read all the tragedies, and you will know what I mean - Hamlet, MacBeth, King Henry, etc.)

The writing possibities are, of course, endless.  There is the My Hero project based learning website that would contain an entire year's worth of lessons.  Students can create a "My Hero" webpage complete with writing, pictures, art work, and video.  What a cool way to incorporate technology that kids need to know how to use!  If I had more computers I would be doing this one regularly as you can also complete lessons and talk with other classes around the world thereby sharing some cultural ideas regarding heroism.  How cool is that?!  This is truly a phenomenal site that I never would have found had I not had some free association time.

After that, I found "hero" music such as Nickelback's song "Hero" from the Spiderman soundtrack.  This will create a real connection with the kids as they have all heard, and they have probably seen the movies.  Superheroes are archetypes used through literature and I am sure I can introduce the literary term "hyperbole" to kids who see that superheroes are huge exaggerations of the qualities we desire.

Then I wandered over to the Wordle website to see if I could create a word cloud.  This is a pretty amazing site where you list a bunch of words with a common theme, and the size of the word will be based upon the frequency a word is used.  It is a fun way to combine words in an artistic way. I thought I could use these as decorations around my room, and I might have students create wordles by hand on other topics throughout the year (like "protagonist" or "essay structure" - who knows where that could lead.

Finally, I can see how discussing the word "hero" will lead (no pun intended) to a better discussion regarding "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens" because good leaders possess many of the qualities that heroes do. 

Maybe this morning's Internet vacation wasn't as silly as I first thought.   Free association time is crucial to my creative process, teaching is both scientific and creative.  After reflecting on this experience today, I feel rejuvenated and excited about what the future holds.  I can think of no better way to spend a hot summer morning and afternoon!

Sunday School Teacher Debut

I taught Sunday School today.  My class was very small this July 4th, two boys - one 7th grader and one 8th grader.  They had so much energy but were very cool to talk with, and I really had a good time.  I connected with one a little more than the other as he actually stayed sat for longer than 30 seconds and seemed able to hold a short conversation.  He showed me those new sillybandz that kids are wearing on their wrists that will turn into different shapes.  They are pretty fun and I am thinking of buying a bunch as prizes for kids in Sunday School and in regular school.  They are all the rage right now, and I want to get all the mileage I can from them before they get banned like all cool stuff does from school!

The other boy had so much energy that I thought about changing my lesson to "Run Around the Church Building to Show How Much You Love God".  Something tells me he would still be running!  He wanted to show me every five seconds how he could become a human pretzel.  I do believe his calling may be a yoga instructor.  It was fun watching and listening to these two boys, and I really like the fact I am getting a chance to connect with the youth at my church. 

I had those same teaching butterflies (along with a good bout of acid reflux)  last night and probably slept a total of four hours.  Tim called at 8:30 for our devotional this morning.  Thank goodness he did because I had fallen soundly asleep and probably would have slept beyond a time that would have allowed me to get ready for church.  That would not be good - to miss your first day.  Awkward...

The time really did seem to fly by with those kids, so I am so glad I had a chance to serve God today in this capacity.  I will probably try to incorporate some skits as these two kids would have probably really enjoyed creating and sharing them.  I will be teaching the Sunday after next, and I am excited about the opportunity!

Coincidence?

There is no question in my mind that God is powerfully present in my life.  Little God moments occur daily for me now.  Julie tipped me off to those types of occurrences long before I ever experienced them what with her doorbell ringing angels, but it seems they occur daily for me now, too, although they don't really manifest themselves in the same way.  Take for instance last night's God moment. 

I was sharing with Julie the Bible devotion that my husband and I shared over the phone earlier.  This is our attempt to build a foundation for a possible reconciliation in God's word.  It referred to Luke 2:8 and pointed out that God uses the lowly, the downtrodden, the weak to spread his message because they are so much more accessible to everyday man than those who are nearing perfection.  I love that message because it shows me how much God loves all of us no matter what, a concept that took me a really long time to get.

Anyway, I was telling Julie about the devotional when I wandered over to my computer.  Tim had e-mailed a scanned copy of it to me!  Wow!  How odd to have just been talking about it and to have it show up in my in box.  Here's one more irony to add to the mix.  It turns out Tim read the wrong devotional last night.  That one was supposed to be today's devotional, but it was the perfect message on the perfect day for me.  Amazing.

While I am sure many people will chalk all of these things up to "coincidence" just as I used to, I can't help wondering how so many coincidences occur so frequently.  I have also noticed that when I pray for those who request it, it seems those people share amazing stories of success over illness or circumstances.  Maybe it's coincidence, but I sure seem to have a lot of coincidences occurring if that is all there is to it.

I can see how God's mercy and grace has turned Tim around.  To hear of him speak about God so happily, so joyously, so freely is truly miraculous.  He unabashed love for Jesus has transformed his entire demeanor.  Gone is his sarcasm and cynicism of the world and the people who inhabit it.  He seems flooded with gratitude for his sobriety, his newfound faith, his family, and for me.  It is a good start.  I hadn't intended on ever giving him another chance, and then all these "coincidences" began.

After the violent episode and Tim's leaving the state, I had prayed consistently that God would help Tim overcome alcoholism, help him own his behaviors and accept responsiblity for them, help him forgive himself and see how valuable a person he is.  I prayed that Tim would accept Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior.  I prayed that Tim would seek out counseling for his alcoholism and his childhood issues.   Every single one of these has come true, and I didn't tell Tim about any of these expectations. 

The "coincidence" that blew me away the most and caused me to search out God's message concerning possible reconciliation was when Tim told me he was seeing his pastor regarding personal childhood issue (sexual abuse).  I literally got a cold chill that ran down my body when he said that because that is something he used to so adamantly refuse to do, to the point where I figured it would never happen.  To him an unprompted admission that he was willingly seeking out this as an option froze me in place.  I thanked God that night and asked him to guide me, to show me His will for me.  That is how Tim and I have started to read the Bible together nightly and pray.  I absolutely feel a new bond with Tim that I have never had before.  He isn't pushing for a time frame on reconciliation - understands it might be months, years, maybe never.  But he continues to seek out God's will for him. 

If I am seeking God's will and Tim does the same, I have no doubt in my mind that God's intentions will be carried out.  I am not wondering which Tim I am talking to on the phone anymore.  He humbly accepts that there are consequences for his previous actions and vows to follow God's will no matter what that is.

If this conversion both Tim and I have experienced is insanity, then I will happily remain insane.  I have never felt so much joy, love, happiness while alone in my entire life.  I feel God around me all the time.  This is what I never understood before and finally am lucky enough to experience, and I gotta tell 'ya.  It's awesome beyond words.

Coincidence?  Nope...I think it's God Incidents!

Bears Going Rogue

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Last Tuesday, a black bear went rogue and attacked  a curious hiker last Tuesday in the Red River Gorge area of the Daniel Boone National Forest in Kentucky.  Apparently, the bear was camera shy and viewed Tim Scott and his cell phone camera as members of the paparazzi, decided he didn't wish to be photographed doing bear stuffr, and puctuated that preference with some serious bear hugs.

Had it not been for Anthony Gobel, a 200 pound young man who climbs wind turbines for a living (apparently there are some new green careers emerging!), Tim Scott would have been bear food.   Gobel smacked the bear in the head with his pack hard enough to suprise him and get to Scott. 

When interviewed, Gobel said, "I'm thinking God put me there for a reason.  It's not a trip that we had planned.  It just happened."  I would say Gobel is right.  How is it you don't plan a trip to hike in the Red River Gorge Geological Area?  For me, a hike like that would have taken some MAJOR planning.  Heck, walking the twisted, winding road in front of my house requires a substantial amount of planning. 

I suppose his being 28 years old and in great physical shape may have something to do with his spontaneous decision to hike in a National Forest, but still?  For real?  You don't plan stuff like this?  Wow!  I am pretty sure that Tim Scott thinks Gobel's presence was divine intervention!

According to news reports, Tim Scott is an avid hiker.  If this is the case, a question begs to be answered here...Who, in their right mind, would say to himself - "Whoa, there's a bear up ahead.  Let me get my cell phone out and snap a few shots as I walk closer to the bear.  Oops...he disappeared under a ledge, so NOW I will call my wife  and tell her to take another trail ..."  What?  I sure don't want to be married to this guy.  When the bear reappeared, Scott tried to fend off the bear with a rotted tree branch.  OK...I am not the most experienced hiker in the world, but a rotted tree branch?  Are you serious?  Those tend to be rather fragile and crumble fairly easily.   He tried to hide behind a tree but the bear snagged his leg a threw him like a rag doll, then sank his teeth into Scott's thigh.  That would definitely be a come to Jesus moment for me. 

Apparently, Scott holds no grudge against black bears in general although he appears to harbor some resentment with this particular bear.  "He's a bad bear, and he needs to be taken out of circulation," Scott said, "But there's an awful lot of good bears there that shouldn't suffer because of what one bear did."  My questions to Tim Scott is how in the world does he know that bear is a bad bear.  Did the bear misdemeanors as a cub, occasional drive by swipings of hikers in other locations?  Or could it be this bear is protecting a cub good ol' expert hiker Tim Scott got too close to?  How is it the bear is bad when the human was in BEAR territory?  What makes a bear good or bad?  "This one chewed on me when I invaded it's territory.  He's bad.  This one only ate the garbage we left at our campsite and ran off when we emerged from the woods.  He's good."  Get real Tim Scott.  Bears are animals who have instincts - you know - that fight or flight thing.  You apparently posed enough danger in the bear's "mind" to be the recipient of the "fight" option.  My guess is that you were way to close to something it valued, possibly its privacy. 

Wildlife officers are working hard to identify the right bear to take out.  Seriously.  For Real.  I am Not Kidding.  I imagine a whole set of Wildlife Detectives heading into the woods to examine the crime scene- plaster of paris paw prints may have to be made to compare the footprints of potention bear suspects - maybe Tim Scott will have to identify the bear that attacked him in a black bear lineup.  Would that be considered racial profiling?  This story has made me laugh almost as much as the Shake Weight commercials on TV...If you haven't seen those, you tell ME what it reminds you of.  All I know is this.  If I am out for a walk in the woods somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains nearby, I will always give bears the right of way.  You see, I read Bill Bryson's account "A Walk in the Woods" and I don't want to meet a bear face to face anymore than he did!

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