That was Then - This is Now



My financial woes, like so many others have endured, have occupied my mind for quite some time, which is probably one reason why blogging seemed far too arduous a task.  However, on this cold, snowy Sunday morning, my muse is urging me to commemorate a moment of serenity as I look back on all those who have seen me through the last few months.  You see, I have been able to pay every bill, thanks to the generosity of others and some darn hard work on my part.

Finances seemed bleak at best when I last wrote about my impossible Walmart trip.  Apparently, that was a catalyst that helped to kick me in the hind quarters.  I dealt with some bills that had been hanging out there (namely the Consumer Credit Counseling Bill aquired by both my husband and myself.  Basic scenario - Husband quite triple digit job - Wife paid most of the bills while he went to real estate school - We downsized from a 1500 dollar a month mortgage to a 750 dollar mortgage - We both cashed in our retirement funds and lived on credit cards for awhile - - Husband let drinking overwhelm him resulting in violence - Husband moved to Minnesota - Wife was still paying all CCCS bill)  RESULT - Top Ramen, barely enough gas to get to work, and - yes - unable to pay for 56.00 dollars worth of groceries.

After screaming at God in my very cold back bedroom and giving up completely, things began to change.  I eliminated all non-essentials except my cable (I was really ready to do that, but  life soon changed - see the "This is Now" section).  I called CCCS  and explained the situation.  Now the bill is half of what I was paying.    I called the ex and humbled myself - no, I am not superwoman; I can't pay for everything and still keep the house.  Either we work together, or I file bankruptcy.  Ex stepped up to the plate and is now paying for his cards.  I called all the medical facilities who are billing me for my trip to emergency and got them to take 10.00 a month until I can do differently.  I reduced next years insurance as Tim now has a job and can have his company insure him. 

In short - I did everything I could think of to reduce my debt. 

That was then.

This is now.

My church wrote me a check for 150.00 dollars - a humbling moment, but I am learning to accept others' generosity when I need to.  I was able to pay the electric bill.  All of a sudden, things started falling into place.  I had worked every extra gig I could think of at school:  tutoring, Saturday school, SBDM member, Content Team Chairperson,  Leadership Team Member, KTIP Mentor...You name it, I worked it.  As a result, I received an additional 500.00 dollars on my last check. PHEW!  Amazing; I had given up finally, and now everything was working out.

To top it off, my district has decided to help teachers earn their national board certification - I had created a proposal for this several months ago and had been told to go get a loan since I would get 75% back anyway.  Needless to say, I was angry about that for a while.  But I let it go figuring if I was supposed to do this, God would let me know.  He did in a big way about three weeks ago when the same man who told me to go get a loan asked me to consider it; the district now had a way to fund it.  The odd thing is that their plan is just about the same one I proposed.  I was given credit for the ideas at the meeting I attended last week.  But I sort of wonder if God wasn't making a point.  He loves me simply because He loves me - not for who I am, not for what I 've done.  I have the opportunity to earn 4,000 additional each year if I pass this certification.  My cost will be $252.60 thanks to some scholarships offered by the district to those of us who attended the meeting.  Wow.  Now that is a God thing if I ever saw it.

Maybe I needed a good dose of humility.  I now have much more empathy for those who struggle to make ends meet.  I appreciate simple things like heat in the house, being able to pay for sodas I promised to my students, honoring my financial obligations for services rendered.  If I wasn't a Jesus Freak before, I sure am now.  I know He will lift me up if I just let go.  He keeps on teaching me this lesson.  I don't want to take control today and hopefully I won't want to tomorrow.  In good times and bad, God's there and He has a purpose.  My job is just to keep the faith and praise his name every chance I get.