My financial woes, like so many others have endured, have occupied my mind for quite some time, which is probably one reason why blogging seemed far too arduous a task. However, on this cold, snowy Sunday morning, my muse is urging me to commemorate a moment of serenity as I look back on all those who have seen me through the last few months. You see, I have been able to pay every bill, thanks to the generosity of others and some darn hard work on my part.
Finances seemed bleak at best when I last wrote about my impossible Walmart trip. Apparently, that was a catalyst that helped to kick me in the hind quarters. I dealt with some bills that had been hanging out there (namely the Consumer Credit Counseling Bill aquired by both my husband and myself. Basic scenario - Husband quite triple digit job - Wife paid most of the bills while he went to real estate school - We downsized from a 1500 dollar a month mortgage to a 750 dollar mortgage - We both cashed in our retirement funds and lived on credit cards for awhile - - Husband let drinking overwhelm him resulting in violence - Husband moved to Minnesota - Wife was still paying all CCCS bill) RESULT - Top Ramen, barely enough gas to get to work, and - yes - unable to pay for 56.00 dollars worth of groceries.
After screaming at God in my very cold back bedroom and giving up completely, things began to change. I eliminated all non-essentials except my cable (I was really ready to do that, but life soon changed - see the "This is Now" section). I called CCCS and explained the situation. Now the bill is half of what I was paying. I called the ex and humbled myself - no, I am not superwoman; I can't pay for everything and still keep the house. Either we work together, or I file bankruptcy. Ex stepped up to the plate and is now paying for his cards. I called all the medical facilities who are billing me for my trip to emergency and got them to take 10.00 a month until I can do differently. I reduced next years insurance as Tim now has a job and can have his company insure him.
In short - I did everything I could think of to reduce my debt.
That was then.
This is now.
To top it off, my district has decided to help teachers earn their national board certification - I had created a proposal for this several months ago and had been told to go get a loan since I would get 75% back anyway. Needless to say, I was angry about that for a while. But I let it go figuring if I was supposed to do this, God would let me know. He did in a big way about three weeks ago when the same man who told me to go get a loan asked me to consider it; the district now had a way to fund it. The odd thing is that their plan is just about the same one I proposed. I was given credit for the ideas at the meeting I attended last week. But I sort of wonder if God wasn't making a point. He loves me simply because He loves me - not for who I am, not for what I 've done. I have the opportunity to earn 4,000 additional each year if I pass this certification. My cost will be $252.60 thanks to some scholarships offered by the district to those of us who attended the meeting. Wow. Now that is a God thing if I ever saw it.
Maybe I needed a good dose of humility. I now have much more empathy for those who struggle to make ends meet. I appreciate simple things like heat in the house, being able to pay for sodas I promised to my students, honoring my financial obligations for services rendered. If I wasn't a Jesus Freak before, I sure am now. I know He will lift me up if I just let go. He keeps on teaching me this lesson. I don't want to take control today and hopefully I won't want to tomorrow. In good times and bad, God's there and He has a purpose. My job is just to keep the faith and praise his name every chance I get.