2012 and the Road of Resolution

I was in church this morning, the first day of 2012 (Yes, hard to believe what a change has occurred...tell me that isn't a God thing!)  My pastor talked what it meant to be on the road of resolution.  He gave credit to his wife's datebook/calender/daily devotional thingy as his inspiration, so he didn't flat out rip off anyone.  He was quite conscientious about crediting his source which met with all my English teacher sensibilities!
Anyway, one thing that really stood out in his sermon was the importance of recording the events where God has impacted you.  It might be one of those amazing God moments that, as someone pointed out to me (sorry - can't remember the who or the where), happen all the time, yet we are so self-absorbed neediness that we miss it entirely, or it me be a moment of reflection when we realize how different we are from a younger version of ourselves.

As I sit here this afternoon, I can't help but think of how everything I have and everything I am is all because of God's amazing grace.  Yes, it may sound cheesy to some, but I am so ok with cheesy because, when I am out of my own self-absorbed fleshly self long enough to look around,  I see how easy bein' cheesy is.  Where money, homes, status and power,  and ego preservation were the most important things in my world before Jesus entered, I am now content with no money, a beat up home (although God does see fit for me to own it at this time), no status (I am a single, broke, teacher in podunk, Kentucky for goodness sake),  and a very real understanding that my ego needs to be replaced with humility so God can work through me.

What an incredible transformation - one I can't explain, one I don't deserve, one I praise God for.  Anytime I fall back into my whiny "what about me?" world, I hope I look back on this post and remember how God has changed me, focused my attention on others more than myself.

Things I did in 2011 I would never have done prior to God:

1. Ate Top Ramen and was thankful for it.
2. Got my finances in order even though it required letting go enabling someone else (a trait I see in myself now)
3. Prayed to God when things were confusing or frustrating; whenever I let go, I actually saw amazing miracles, such as getting additional work to help me pay debts down, found ways to cut bills so that I wasn't paying so much out.  Those ideas had been there all along, but my mind couldn't see them until I let God take it all.
4. Listened to the times God told me to act (like this summer when I had to question a decision made by my boss), and God saw me through each stage.
5. God gave us an amazing principal to see us through a very challenging change at the school.
6. I saw the simple pleasures of growing a garden from a brand new perspective and enjoyed the simple task of breaking beans on the front porch!  How country girl is that!
7. I had an amazing Christmas break where I reconnected with God on a closer level and recharged my batteries in preparation for the 2nd half of the school year.
8. I finished portfolio entry #4 (except for the two page reflection) and sent it for yet another perusal by my mentor.
9. I have a plan for portfolio entries #2 and #3 (well, sort of) and trust that God will help me see this national board certification through.
10. I helped serve Thanksgiving dinner at the community center this year, something I would never have thought to have done years ago.  This was such an amazing day that I hope to keep with me always.

As 2012 begins, I pray for a deeper connection with God, a renewal of my desire to have a relationship with God that is so close I can tell what He wants me to do and when I am to do it, and continued peace and serenity as I do His will, whatever that is each day.  Yes, I love being cheesy, and I hope I never wipe this God given grin off my face! 

No Greater Love


I have new family this year - the people of Bethesda Community Church, a small church  of about 60 people who have shown me so much love without any strings attached, who demonstrate agape love endlessly because God taught them to do so.  They are truly the arms and legs of Jesus and are teaching me how to love others and myself in the same way.  Thank you, Bethesda!

The only other person who has shown me that sort of love is my dear friend, Julie Harris - someone who loves me unconditionally, repeatedly, and unabashedly just because I am.  She, too, knows God's grace.  She, too, has shared all she has with me and has never kept score.  I am honored she is my friend and my family as well.

As I prepare to see my biological family in a few days, I pray these powerful lessons of love given to me by both Julie and by Bethesda are well learned.  I choose to share the same sort of kindness on my trip,  pay it forward when I go home for the first time in ten years.  Butterflies?  A few, but I have never felt so whole, so complete in my 43 years of existence.  I feel ready to visit once again.  Why, because of God's Grace.  How appropriate!